Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk: Why Mistakes are an Integral Part of Growing Confidence
Children are inquisitive by nature and are experiencing everything for the very first time. This thought is sometimes lost on us as we, as adults, get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. Often times, we forget that what we may consider to be common sense is actually something that we learned over years of repetition or experience. As a result, we sometimes place unfair expectations on our children, pushing them to do things “correctly” and even disciplining them when they make mistakes. That is not to say that discipline is unfair, but rather that sometimes children need guidance instead of correction. This, in turn, teaches them self-discipline because they’ve learned from life’s natural lessons. Children have such a limited set of knowledge and experiences, so mistakes are bound to happen. After all, nobody knows what they don’t know. It takes practice, along with lots of trial and error, to get things right. Mistakes should not be looked down upon, but rather celebrated!
Making mistakes is not the same as failing
As the saying goes, “to err is human”. Just because things didn’t go the way we expected does not mean that it’s a failure. It’s important for children to recognize their mistakes so that they can grow from them, and in time learn to correct them. It is vital that we as caregivers help guide them through the reasoning process of recognition and correction so that they can develop the skills to do so themselves. It is often difficult to refrain from simply fixing the problem for our child, however problem-solving is an important life skill (one that goes hand in hand with critical thinking) that can be translated to every aspect of adult life. Whether it is family life, social life, or in the professional realm, the ability to efficiently solve problems is highly valued. This skill, when fostered properly in childhood, can massively benefit more than just the individual and leads to confident and competent adults.
Mistakes teach resiliency
Resilience is defined as: “the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness”. The ability to fall down, dust yourself off, and try again does not come easy, but is highly valued. Often, we see our young children becoming frustrated when they cannot do something. This frustration, while difficult to deal with in the moment, is actually fueling them to continue on. This builds character, confidence, and above all shows children that they are capable of so much. Isn’t that what we all want for our children? They truly are our future, and the sky is NOT the limit for them. Their potential is unending, and the more they recover from their mistakes, the quicker they will see that. Again, cleaning up their messes for them may be easier, faster, or more efficient, but allowing them to experience it teaches something much more important. They gain a sense of independence and pride when they look at their work and see what they’ve accomplished, whether it’s tying their own shoe or cleaning up spilled milk.
