Sharing is Caring (But is it really?)

For a person's entire childhood, they hear the phrase repeated time and time again: sharing is caring! This mantra is spoken with good intentions, but what does enforcing it mean for the children involved? 

Resentment

Forced sharing leads to feelings of resentment, both towards the adult that is encouraging the sharing and the child that is being shared with. Having a toy or other material taken away from you, without your permission, simply because another person wants it can be incredibly frustrating and discouraging. As adults, we wouldn't want someone to take away our phone or computer in the middle of us using it - children should have the same option.

Overstepping boundaries

Forced sharing creates a habit of overstepping boundaries. If a child says "no, thank you" to sharing a toy, it is our duty to respect them. It is also our responsibility to teach other children to respect each other's wishes and give them the tools to communicate effectively. This will lead to the development of problem-solving skills, conflict resolution, and general respect and appreciation for others. Rather than forcing your little ones to share, try suggesting that they take turns. Waiting their turn will help them respect one another, grow patience, and learn to compromise in order to fit everyone's needs.

Encouraging passive behavior and a sense of entitlement

Not giving children the choice to share can lead to overly passive behavior. Later in life, these children may not feel comfortable setting firm boundaries or being outspoken in their beliefs or feelings. They also may become easily taken advantage of or otherwise disrespected. Conversely, children who are regularly expecting others to share with them may grow up with a sense of entitlement because they are accustomed to instant gratification.

There is no harm in encouraging our children to share, so long as it is done within reason. Our top priority should be preparing children for adulthood, and sometimes that means that they need to be told "no". Raising resilient and adaptive children results in adults who are well-rounded and grounded. While forced sharing may be a quick solution to a problem, its lasting effects are likely to be far less than desirable.